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-Next you must decide how large and/or important your town will be, this is dependent upon where in Morocco's varied geography you happen to be. If it's by the water or along a busy land trade route, chances are it's going to flourish more than a town in the middle of the of the Atlas mountains where goats outnumber people. If you've chosen a port town, fill this port with men whos' job it is to give you information that is only useful to you in hindsight and make sure that every ferry leaves either just as you arrive or 2 hours after it should have. Sprinkle liberally with touts and other shifty characters (this may vary according to season). The land trade route town must place it's touts somewhere and since a port is unavailable, must make do with a larger than usual medina. This medina should be confusing; if foreigners can make it from one side to the other without getting lost and invariabley ask for help from one of the always helpful locals ($$$), you have failed miserably and should look to creating shopping malls instead. -The medina is always in a default setting, by which I mean they're all the same; very confusing, various smells (both delicious and horrendous), vendors sell crappy toys that no one seems to buy (even back in 1982 when they were first introduced), offer 'authentic' designer goods (A Louis Vuitton handbag for 30 bucks, what a bargain!), Moroccan homeland goods (mass produced, but the dirt on them makes them look antique), and dirt cheap food i.e. - freshly squeezed orange juice, churros, and peanut brittle. All food here must cost no more than 15 cents Canadian and all goods in the medina can be bargained down to at least 50% the original asking price. -When creating the road system in a Moroccan town, start with the Alpha and Omega of crossroads; Mohammed V Avenue and Hassan II Avenue. All other roads must tangle and weave away or towards these two roads. Paint traffic lines on the main roads mainly for show; for those who have been there know they clearly bear no meaning to those who drive the streets. I'll take a break from cityplanning to tell you about the most essential thing your business in Morocco needs in order to survive: A picture of the reigning king, Mohammed VI. All pictures must, of course, be approved by the monarch but must look like they were taken with a disposible camera. The picture must also 'catch' the king at the moment when he looks the most stern and authoritative seeing as how he has unprecedented control over his countries' government. Pictures range from; the king in a finely-taylored suit, the king in traditional dress (a man of the people), and the king sitting at a well-appointed table. Basically he must look like the kind of man 99% of the population will never see in their lifetimes; a rich one. The portrait must be placed high above the entrance, not only so the king can look down at his lowly subjects but also I believe he acts just as a horseshoe would in North America; as a bringer of good luck. Put him in a very easily seen spot so you can be lucky enough to keep your store open. Western businesses are not exempt either. The king must be present because only he can be the true Burger King and only he can deem if it is truly finger-lickin' good. Well, that's a long enough entry to mark my glorious return to blogging. Be sure to catch part 2 of 'How To Create a Moroccan Town.' I'm not sure when, just be sure to catch it. Later.
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